And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
