At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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