I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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