So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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