I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
