Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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