Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
