I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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