My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
