she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
