i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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