He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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