I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
