So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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