their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I think my vagina is haunted
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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