Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
