God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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