I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
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I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
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