My hand turned me down
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Drake has all the answers
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
