Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He felt like a one man threesome
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
