just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
