I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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