His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
