I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
