You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
