I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
