I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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