Your dad touched me again.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize