my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Small penises have feelings too.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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