Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
