dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
well you can't waste a boner
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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