Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
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this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
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you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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