I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
