my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
