I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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