i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
