He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
My liver just had a heart attack.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
