I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
