I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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