u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
