Fine. I'll sleep in my office
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
