i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
