the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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