they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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