I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
