I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize