so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
