Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Shame is for Republicans.
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