You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
