awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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