he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
