He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
if only i could text you this smell
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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