I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
