I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
