so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
