My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
