He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Do you have feelings for this penis?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
