I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
