Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
