I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
